She Rocks the Spectrum
A Therapy Center for Autistic Girls & Women
Hi! I'm Jenny Pan.
I am a first-generation Chinese American, born in Taiwan and raised in New York. While I am fluent in Mandarin and deeply connected to my cultural roots, growing up, I constantly felt like I had to "shapeshift" to belong. For many neurodivergent women, masking is a survival tool. I learned early how to blend in, stay quiet, and strive for perfection. I carried the exhausting weight of being told I was "too much" in some spaces and "not enough" in others. Over time, I have done the hard work of unmasking and embracing what makes me different. I wear my heritage with pride, speak my truth with courage, and view my healing journey as a testament to resilience.
Early Struggles With Differences
I immigrated to the U.S. at age 9 and endured years of bullying due to emotional, physical, and learning differences. Like many girls growing up in the '80s, my neurodivergence went completely under the radar. I carried many ADHD traits but remained undiagnosed, internalizing the struggle instead of receiving the support I needed.
A Neurodivergent Marriage—Unrecognized
Later in life, I spent 15 years in a marriage that I eventually realized was profoundly impacted by neurodivergence; my ex-husband was diagnosed with autism after our divorce. For a decade and a half, we struggled to connect, caught in the exhaustion of trying to operate a neurodivergent marriage using a neurotypical manual. I experienced what is often called "Cassandra Syndrome"—a chronic sense of loneliness, emotional depletion, and constantly questioning my own reality. If you are an autistic woman who has felt profoundly unseen, misunderstood, or gaslit by the mechanics of your own relationship, I know that specific, isolating pain. (If this dynamic resonates, I often recommend the book Believing Cassandra as a resource for validating that emotional disconnect.)
When Cultural Identity and Neurodivergence Collide
For many autistic women of color, the pressure to mask is doubled by cultural expectations. I offer therapy in English, Mandarin, and Chinglish to provide a natural, deeply connecting space for clients with shared backgrounds. I help clients navigate: The cultural pressure to "save face" vs. the neurodivergent need to set firm emotional and sensory boundaries. The conflict between suppressing emotional needs for family loyalty and being wired for direct expression. Fears of community judgment surrounding neurodivergence or non-traditional social norms. My co-authored book, Asian American Chronicles: Tales of Mental Health & Hope, explores this exact intersection of cultural identity and emotional well-being.
Trauma & Relational Healing with EMDR
In addition to talk therapy, I am trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Autistic women frequently carry complex trauma from childhood bullying, chronic invalidation, or repeated relationship ruptures. Because neurodivergent and highly sensitive nervous systems require tailored care, I do not rush trauma work. I adapt EMDR to honor your pacing, sensory needs, and safety by: Spending extra time preparing your nervous system and building trust. Using clear stop signals, predictable check-ins, and collaborative choices at every step. Integrating body awareness and resourcing that fit your specific sensory profile. The goal isn't to erase what happened, but to lessen the emotional charge so you can respond to life from clarity, rather than survival mode.
Specialties & Modalities
Specialties: Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples, Complex PTSD, Divorce & Blended Families, Betrayal/Affairs Recovery, Multicultural Relationships, LGBTQ+ Affirming. Modalities: Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method (Level 1), EMDR, Brainspotting (Phase 1), CBT & TEAM-CBT, Trauma-Informed Therapy, Existential Centered Therapy, PREPARE/ENRICH.