She Rocks the Spectrum
A Therapy Center for Autistic Girls & Women
Welcome!
I'm Kim Hawks.
For many autistic and neurodivergent women, relationship challenges aren't just about "communication"—they are about sensory safety, the exhaustion of masking, and the need for a partner who truly speaks your language. I believe you deserve a therapeutic space where you don't have to translate your experience. My work centers on helping you and your partner navigate the "Double Empathy Problem," repairing ruptures without pathologizing your needs, and strengthening your bond through a lens of neuro-affirmation. Together, we will co-create a relationship culture that respects your sensory profile, honors your processing speed, and values your authentic self.
My Journey: Navigating a Neurodiverse Life
I live the daily reality of a neurodiverse family. As a wife and mother, I navigate a household where "different wiring" is the norm: our three children each have unique neurotypes, my husband has ADHD, and I identify as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)—a trait that deeply mirrors and connects with the autistic experience of sensory and emotional intensity. In our 25 years of marriage, we’ve learned that "normal" is a myth. We’ve juggled the demands of raising a family, managing serious medical challenges for our child, and balancing careers. I know firsthand that when life gets loud, it’s easy to slip into survival mode or "shutdown" patterns. I’ve learned that the most resilient relationships aren't built on "fixing" each other, but on intentional, daily practices of attunement, adaptation, and sensory-aware repair.
Adoption, Attachment, and the Search for Belonging
My personal history is rooted in complex systems. As an infant adoptee raised in a split-custody home, I navigated two very different worlds. My mother’s journey of coming out and building a large, blended LGBTQ+ family, contrasted with my life as an only child in my father’s home, taught me that belonging is something we build through safety and trust, not just biology. For many neurodivergent adults, "belonging" has often felt out of reach. I bring these lessons into the therapy room: I prioritize predictable care, straight talk, and the small, kept promises that allow an autistic heart to feel truly at home in a relationship.
Professional Experience & Advocacy
Before becoming a therapist, I spent years in school administration and admissions, launching two schools. I know how the system works—and how it often fails neurodivergent children. I am a fierce advocate for the IEP/504 process, helping parents ensure their children (especially 2e/twice-exceptional learners) get the support they deserve without losing their dignity. In 2025, I was honored with a California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) award for my collaborative approach to working with neurodiverse families. I don't just look at the individual; I look at the whole system—school, medical teams, and home life.
Life & Regulation
To keep my own nervous system regulated, I turn to trail running—it’s "meditation in motion." I find joy in the sensory experience of cooking homemade pasta with my family, the grounding presence of our golden retriever, and the simple, restorative power of a good book. These moments remind me that even in a world that feels "too much," we can find glimmers of deep, meaningful connection.
How We Work Together: Tools for Your Relationship
Neurodiverse couples often love each other deeply but trip the same wires. I help you build a "Relationship Playbook" that accounts for: - Shared Language: Moving away from "blame" and toward a non-pathologizing understanding of your specific neurotypes. - Unmasking & Intimacy: Creating "sensory-aware" closeness where you can be your authentic self without fear of judgment. - Executive Function Scaffolds: Building "time anchors" and decision trees so the mental load of the relationship doesn't lead to burnout. - Conflict Resolution: Moving past "shutdown/flare" patterns with clear scripts for hard days and repair strategies that fit your brain. - Stabilizing the Home: Balancing the needs of 2e children, chronic illness advocacy, and sibling dynamics while keeping the couple’s bond strong.