She Rocks the Spectrum

Appreciation Practice

Two short experiments for noticing — and acting on — what's right.

This is a two-week practice — a small daily discipline that, in our experience, shifts how partners see and treat each other faster than any single sit-down conversation can.

What's inside

• Exercise One — A week of noticing. For seven days, pay deliberate attention to your partner's positive qualities.
• Exercise Two — Five days of acting as if. For five days, behave as though you already love and appreciate your partner — even if the feeling isn't there.

Your name
______________________________________________

Start date (a Monday makes the seven-day rhythm easier)
______________________________________________

Before you begin: 'Acting as if' can feel artificial. That's normal — the point is to interrupt a pattern, not to lie about feelings. If a negative thought about your partner pops up, use it as a cue to recall two or three good things instead.

A gentle note: This worksheet is a learning tool, not treatment. If your relationship currently includes abuse, ongoing harm, or active crisis, please work with a qualified couples therapist instead.

Exercise 1 — A week of noticing

Sentence starters: 'I really liked ___.' / 'It was nice to notice ___.' / 'They are ___ in a way I appreciate.'

Day 01

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 02

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 03

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 04

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 05

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 06

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 07

______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Exercise 2 — Five days of acting as if

Do one loving, one caring, and one appreciative thing for your partner each day — even when you don't feel it.

Day 01 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 02 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 03 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 04 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Day 05 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

After the practice — what shifted

What changed in how you saw your partner?

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

What changed in how they responded to you?

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

Where did this practice break down? (data, not failure)

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

One small thing you want to keep doing

______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________