She Rocks the Spectrum

Getting to Know a Part of You

Most people already talk about themselves this way: “Part of me wants to go, and part of me wants to stay home.” Parts work takes that everyday language seriously. It treats the different sides of you — the worrier, the critic, the one who shuts down, the one who keeps everyone happy — as parts, each with its own feelings and its own reasons. None of them are bad. Many are working hard to protect you, even when their methods cause trouble. This worksheet helps you get to know one part with curiosity instead of judgment.

Go at your own pace: Getting to know a part can bring up painful memories or strong feelings. You can stop at any point, skip a question, or come back another day. If something heavy surfaces, bring it to your therapist rather than working through it alone.

Choose a part

Which part of you would you like to get to know better?
e.g. e.g. the part that criticizes me, the part that gets anxious at work
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Why this part, and why now?
e.g. What made this one stand out?

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How it shows up

How does this part show up? How do you experience it?
e.g. A feeling in your body, a voice, an urge, a mood

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Does it lead you to act a certain way, say certain things, or take on a particular tone or attitude?
e.g. What do other people notice when this part is in charge?

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How do you feel about this part right now?
Rate from 1 (I really don't like it) to 10 (I really like it): ____

In what ways does this part help you feel good — or feel bad?
e.g. It can be both

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Its history

Has this part been with you for a long time?
e.g. When do you first remember it?

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If this part had an age, how old would it be? (0–100)
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How old do you feel when this part is present?
e.g. e.g. about eight, or much younger than I am
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Does it sound like anyone you know, or repeat things you have been told?
e.g. A parent, a teacher, a former partner, a message you picked up somewhere

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Its job

Does this part like its job? What does it like or dislike about it?
e.g. Some parts are tired of the role they've been stuck in

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What is this part trying to do? What is it hoping for?
e.g. Its purpose, underneath the behavior

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Does it have fears or worries? What are they?
e.g. What does it think would happen if it stopped?

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Does it protect other parts of you? Which ones?
e.g. e.g. a younger part that got hurt, a part that feels ashamed

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What does this part want for you?
e.g. e.g. to be safe, to be liked, to never be caught off guard

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Does it want or need anything from you?
e.g. Reassurance, a break, to be listened to, to be thanked

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Every part has a reason: Even the parts you like least usually started out trying to help. When you meet a part with curiosity instead of a fight, it often relaxes — and you get more say in how you respond.