She Rocks the Spectrum

Sexual Accelerators

Most accelerator lists are written for neurotypical bodies. This one isn't. For ND folks, accelerators often involve predictability, sensory accommodation, and the special-interest engine — things mainstream sex advice rarely names. This worksheet helps you map yours.

Safety note: This worksheet is for consensual relationships where both partners can say yes, no, wait, or stop without punishment. Do not use this worksheet to pressure sexual activity. If there is fear, coercion, retaliation, active abuse, trauma flooding, pain, shutdown, or dissociation, pause and use this with a qualified therapist.

How to use this worksheet

Each partner fills their own copy. Specifics, not generalities. Pay extra attention to the ND-specific section — these are the accelerators rarely mentioned elsewhere. Trade copies and read silently. Notice the surprises. Pick three accelerators to try this week. Concrete and small.

Name
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My accelerators — the ND-specific ones first

Often overlooked: Often the most powerful.

Predictability — knowing what will happen next: a script, a routine, a planned start

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Special-interest engine — sex tied to something I'm passionate about (a fantasy character, a topic, a context)

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Monotropic focus — single-channel attention, one sense or one body zone at a time

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Written communication — texts, notes, agreed scripts beat real-time verbal asks

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Sensory accommodations — specific lighting, scents, fabrics, weighted blanket, low sound

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Unmasked safety — permission to stim, vocalize, move, or be still without performing

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My accelerators — general categories

Body-based — specific kinds of touch, pressure, locations on my body

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Mind-based — words, scenarios, anticipation, fantasy

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Emotional — feeling close, feeling pursued, feeling seen

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Context — setting, time of day, days off, vacations

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Discussion & notes

ND accelerators are often counterintuitive: Predictability isn't unsexy — it's permission.

An ND-specific accelerator I had not named before

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An accelerator of my partner's I want to support

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The one we'll try first

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What might make it hard, and how we'll handle that

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